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July 10, 2013 / nuttystepmom

why pork juice & paper towels?

I pondered names for this blog for a while before just going on a whim and landing on pork juice & paper towels.  Pork juice and paper towels (along with chicken juice, paper napkins, electric can openers, and mayonnaise) are some of the enemies of our home.

I am 100% convinced that every nanoliter of pork juice, chicken juice, beef juice, fish juice, etc. contains billions of microbes intent on my destruction and demise.  (Let me be up front with you from the start here…I do not promise complete sanity at any point in this blog.)  Due to this belief, I have some fairly odd behaviors when preparing meals.  Behaviors that my family laughs with me about.  Oh, who am I kidding?  They mock me.  That’s okay, though.  I am content in the knowledge that I keep them (and myself) safe from evil bacteria that wants them dead.

What about the paper towels and paper napkins?  I hate waste.  Remember how your grandparents used things more than once and didn’t throw things away that could still be useful?  Yeah, I’m like that.  It’s partially an environmental thing, partially a financial thing, and partially a philosophy thing.  It’s complex.

Electric can openers?  Um, I hate to admit this, but I share some personality traits with our dog.  We both fear dislike loud noises.  While I do refrain from barking when startled, I still intensely detest loud, grating noises.  Sooo…it’s a manual can opener for us.  (Guess what?!?  We don’t use a vacuum cleaner either!)

And the mayo?  Well, that stuff is just icky.  The fact that my husband (I need to come up with a fake name for him!) also hates mayo accounts for about 23.7% of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.  Okay, maybe it’s not really that important, but it is great to be condiment-compatible with the one you love.

Okay, now you should have a pretty good idea of the level of crazy you’re dealing with by reading this blog.  Don’t worry!  From now on this blog isn’t even really about my strange brain thoughts…it’s about my stepdaughter (we’re calling her CindyLou) and the information I want to share with her as she grows up.  We have 6 years left to get her ready to be out there in this big, beautiful, confusing world, and I want to get it all down in print for her.  It’ll be kind of like a life encyclopedia or some such thing.  Fun! 😉

Wanna know more about what I’m doing here?  Go ahead and check out the “who the heck?” page.

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