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September 2, 2013 / nuttystepmom

glorious men: they actually do communicate

CindyLou, I told you in my first post about men that we would have a lot to discuss in this area, and that is absolutely true.  I’m certainly not an expert in relationships or gender studies or any such thing, but I have paid a great deal of attention to men over the years…I’ve learned some things.  😉

A lot of men aren’t very good at communicating their feelings verbally.  You will hear women bitch about this.  A lot.  From me, this is not a complaint.  It’s just an observation.  Here’s another one:  A lot of women think they’re good at communicating their feelings verbally.  From what I’ve observed, they’re actually not.  They’re good at saying something about every little thing that ticks them off or upsets them, but they’re not all that great at actually getting to the heart of the matter or really letting others know what makes them tick.  But that’s neither here nor there for today’s lesson.

Let’s go back to that notion of men not being good at expressing their feelings verbally.  Verbally is the important word here.  Why should men have to express their thoughts and feelings verbally?  Just because women do?  Well, that hardly seems fair.  Because, guess what?!?  Men actually do express their feelings.  They express them quite clearly most of the time.  More clearly than women, I think.  Women are just so caught up in words that they don’t see what their menfolk are telling them.

If men aren’t letting you know how they feel with words, then what’s going on here?  Well, you know that phrase “actions speak louder than words?”  It seems men actually take this to heart.  (While women throw it out there pretty frequently, but then keep on keepin’ on with the words.)  You have to pay attention to a man’s actions.  I will not lie…your daddy does not say the words “I love you” very often.  I don’t sit around feeling blue about it though.  You know why?  Because your daddy lets me know that he loves me all the time!  I have a computer problem, and he drops everything to help.  He suddenly feels like my car stereo isn’t doing all that I need, so he installs a new one.  He makes sure our home stays safe and comfy.  He makes sure my car stays safe and comfy.  He indulges my hobbies and whims.  Usually. 😉 He remembers the way I like my bacon cooked and how I take my coffee.  These are the ways a man tells you he loves you.

So, you have options, little one.  When you meet that super-special-awesome guy and fall in love and get married (or have a long-term relationship), you can sit around being sad that he’s not telling you he loves you in words OR you can look around and see all the ways he’s showing you that he loves you.

And here’s another thought: Instead of always expecting men to meet us on our verbal terms, we could put a little effort into meeting them on theirs.  That fella might be tired of hearing you yack about how much you love him…maybe he’d prefer to see some evidence.

Trust me, there will be more of this man advice in the future.  Maybe you’ll know some things going into a relationship that it took me several break-ups to learn. 😉

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